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Inspiration My Two Cents

Living the Dream

“The soft-minded man always fears change. He feels security in the status quo, and he has an almost morbid fear of the new. For him, the greatest pain is the pain of a new idea.” As we celebrate Martin Luther King Junior’s birthday and legacy, I pulled up some of his quotes. His Dream Speech is one we know and hear but, as is the case with people, he was a lot more than one moment. Dr. King’s commitment to service and justice are examples to live by.

When Dr. King was alive, he was not always popular but he kept on because, as he said, “When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative. ” Doing what he felt was right was often very hard for Dr. King. When I say hard, I don’t mean hard like when someone, like me, who is not a morning person, wakes up before the chickens in order to get my morning run in before my workday. I mean hard like if you decide to stand up for what is just, it may lead to the imprisonment, harm, or death of you and maybe even some of your loved ones. Dr. King, and those who he worked with, made unimaginable sacrifices in the service of others.

Sometimes, the thought of action can be so overwhelming that it keeps you in the thinking (and maybe watching videos about it) phase. When I first started running long distances, the furthest I had run was around four miles and I was spent at the end of those miles. Even though I watched New York Marathoners run past my block and they looked like regular folk, I believed they must be exceptional beings because, as far as I was concerned, regular folk couldn’t possibly run further than five miles without collapsing. I met a woman who urged me to start with trying to complete a 10k race and see how that went. Then she suggested a half marathon. You should have seen me at the end of that half marathon! You’d think I had found the answer to all life’s problems, that’s how elated I was. I then decided to tackle the marathon. As I had conquered each mile, I believed more and more that regular old me could be one of those running down Fourth Avenue in Brooklyn, on my way to completing the New York Marathon. It took the little things to get to the greatness of the marathon. To get to that though, I had to inch from under the massive shadow of intimidation and inch slowly to 26.2 miles. It wasn’t always steps forward; I have lost count of how many times injury and illness have taken me back to mile one. However, I do know now that not even trying is so much worse.

Dr. King knew that service is not an easy thing to dive into and often we are so overwhelmed by all that needs to be done that we end up doing nothing. We don’t have to save the world all on our own. If we all do what we can, together we can do amazing things. In the words of Dr. King, “Everybody can be great … because anybody can serve… You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.” Even during this pandemic, there are opportunities every day to serve and you don’t even have to figure it all out on your own. Organizations such as Americorps can help link you up with opportunities and there is an incredible range of ways in which you can serve, from sending card and letters to those who feel alone, to donating to food and clothing drives. You can also welcome and encourage service in others. When someone does something good for you, even if you don’t need it, show your appreciation and resolve to pay it forward. When someone holds a door open for you, it’s not because they think you don’t know how to open a door, it is a way of showing, in a small way, that they see you and want to do a nice thing for you. That a great thing. Don’t limit yourself to just the one day. May the National Day of Service be a reminder of the value of serving every day. Each of our small acts will bring positive change.

There are books, films, a podcasts about Martin Luther King Jr. I wouldn’t know where to start in recommendations. What I can say is that each time read, watch, or listen to something on Dr. King, I learn something new. I learn more about him, about the Civil Rights movement, and about those around him. Part of the Civil Rights movement is path to a place where more voices are heard and valued, and one marvelous gift that comes with hearing more voices is that we get to see and learn history through different sets of eyes. There is the parable of the blind men and the elephant. Each blind man felt a different part of the elephant and came away believing that they knew what an elephant was. They argued with each other, each believing that they knew the elephant. Yet, the full picture of the elephant could only come through their collective knowledge. So take the time to find a new facet of the life and times of Martin Luther King Jr. and understand not only the impact of the good he did but also the remarkable challenges he faced throughout his life to his early passing. Celebrate Dr. King’s legacy and “Never, never be afraid to do what’s right”.

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Three Words for 2018? We Got This!

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Over the last week, I have been thinking about 2018. I don’t know about you, but 2018 snuck up on me. One moment I was caught up in the day-to-day of 2017 and the next moment 2018 was just a couple of weeks away! After my initial panic, I thought – well, it’s great because I get to think of my three words. Three words? Well, if you haven’t been on this journey with me before, I shall explain. In 2012, I met and was inspired by Tom Hood and he introduced me to the Three Words approach, which came from Chris Brogan. At the start of every year, now, I sit and think about what three words I would like to guide me through that year. During the year, I come back to those words, to help center, direct and motivate me. Over the last few days, I have thought about how to make this work better for me, and I determined that I must display these words to remind me, even when I am not thinking about being reminded, to move me when I feel stuck and to hold me accountable. I say this in part because, 2017 was a challenging year for me and I found that I often lost track of my guiding lights. Involved in, and sometimes overwhelmed by, the moment, I often forgot to even look for my words. Putting the words everywhere, will go a long way to keeping me mindful of that.

Last year, I started looking back over my year and I have found this to be a great way to assess how things went and to help me set my intentions for 2018. My three words:

Imagine. This is the first word that came to me. During 2017, in part through work and volunteering with the New York State Society of CPAs and the AICPA, I have had some truly new experiences. I have learnt how to play poker and how poker skills can benefit me in the workplace; I have worked with a team to consciously inch towards better health – physically, emotionally, and spiritually – and that has included laughing more and skating in Byrant Park; I have collaborated with incredible people and presented in various spaces, from a national conferences to a college campus. During the year, I have been involved in conversations that have opened my eyes, that have ventured into spaces that are often afraid to even tiptoe into, that have renewed my hope when things have seemed bleak. I have often reminded myself to listen and to hear because that is when I find the moments that hit me hard and that get me to imagine and those moments are incredible. When we imagine, and step outside of what we know, we can find brilliance, we can find understanding and, just as important, we can also see and revise the not so great. In 2018, I want to imagine without fear of where my imagination will lead me. I want to imagine and be okay with when what I imagine doesn’t always work out. I also want to make sure that I make the time and space for my imagination. Back in 2015, I tried to create space for me to be bored, which is a big part of creating the space for imagination and, as the exercise stated, brilliance. It did free my mind in great ways and, looking back and looking at now, I know I need a lot more boredom in my life. And I still haven’t finished my Starry Night jigsaw puzzle!

Innovate. During 2017, I listened and took part in conversations about change. The conversations were about artificial intelligence (AI) about blockchain (and cryptocurrencies, like Bitcoin) and about cybersecurity. Other conversations were about what diversity, inclusion, and belonging mean and if and why it is important. We had conversations about what to do about all the change happening in our professions, in our world and in our lives. We talked about how we react to it and how we can embrace, be ahead of and even create greatness out of all the change. Beyond the conversations, we brainstormed and tried new things. We looked at the new approaches other took and ran with them. I spend a lot of time looking at challenges and how, sometimes, people take the same approach to resolving them and see minuscule results. As much as we tout how “change is good”, it is a human thing to resist changing the status quo. During this year, I want to innovate. I want to collaborate and brainstorm and determine to try something new. I want to embrace the difficult conversations, appreciate and improve upon feedback and, on my part, provide truly constructive feedback. I want to remember the power of synergy and never forget that the best innovations come through a community of people sharing, listening and taking risks.

Act. My third word came to me after I wrote and thought about my 2017 look back. When it comes to training, I have established and go with what gets me to success. If I have a race, I print up a daily timetable that includes rest days, cross training days and exactly what I shall do on each day (distance, goals, tempos if needed). The night before every training, I put out exactly what I am going to wear on the day and I determine my route. I think about and take away all my excuses so that, when I wake up, I just do exactly as planned and that gets me a step closer to where I need to go. I keep my schedule on the wall and tick off each day as I go along. During 2017, I often did not apply this approach. As a result, especially where I felt the stakes were high, I became adept at getting cold feet, at second-guessing myself and at putting things off until I decided it was too late to do them. There are many reasons why this happened but knowing the reasons and doing nothing about them is not helpful. I am going to do more acting in 2018. To help me do this, I am going to find the ways to take away my excuses, and I am also going to be more realistic about what I can get done, so that I don’t end up doing many things in a mediocre manner that only serves to disappoint me and others. I also must remember to be kinder to myself when I act and to see the power in action. I must remember that it is through action that I can bring value and have impact.

Before diving into 2018, I want to take a moment and meditate upon my previous three words:

2013 – Change, Discover & Motivate
2014 – Transform, Pursue & Collaborate
2015 – Receptive, Synergy & Service
2016 – Learn Fear & Community
2017 – Embrace, Persevere & Monchu

Several years ago, I went to Hawaii with friends and decided to take surfing lessons. I was a couple of months out of surgery and hesitated before I went out – I wasn’t at full strength, everyone else was going on a fun outing and I would be doing this solo, as no one else was interested. But, I had been thinking about taking a surfing lesson and I had told my surfing neighbor (who ultimately became my husband) that I was going to take a lesson and that made me feel accountable. During the lesson, I fell countless times, I scraped my knee and sometimes even got to the point where I was able to ride a wave while kneeling on the board. Then, I stood, and rode, and didn’t fall off. It was glorious and totally worth every fall, and the skin missing from my leg. When I finally fell off the board, I rose out of the water with a victorious yell! It is this that I must remember – it is a journey but it can only happen if I Imagine, Innovate AND Act.

Happy and wordy 2018 to you! Please share with me – what are your words for 2018?

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Inspiration My Two Cents

2017! Three Words! Let’s Go!

img_1043-2Yesterday, I took a moment to look back at 2016 and I am glad that I did. After that exercise in honoring history, I actually changed one of my words for 2017. My words for 2017? That may be what you are wondering. Let me explain. In 2013, Tom Hood introduced me to the concept of Three Words (and that concept came from Chris Brogan). I use these three words to give the year ahead a theme, almost like a rhythm that I can dance to as I go through the year; and isn’t everything better with dance? The process of thinking about my three words and then coming back to them throughout the year, help consolidate, direct and give confidence to what I do and how I do it. As I read over yesterday’s post, I saw my 2016 Three Words dancing over my year, in ways that I had not thought about as I was writing the post – Learn. Fear. Community.

For several days, I thought about what my words for 2017 would be – and how those words would serve to seal my intentions for the days ahead. I think I have it now.

Embrace: In previous years I have written about changing things in my life. Transform was one of my words in 2014. Then, in 2015, Receptive was a word of mine. Last year we moved to a new neighborhood. When I was a kid, due to politics and other adventures in their lives, we moved around a lot. Between first and third grade, I went to four different schools in three different countries, in four different cities. During my first two years in New York City, I lost count of how many places I lived in. I even spent a couple of months camping out on a (very amazing) friend’s couch on weekends, while I worked in Florida during the week. Last year, I talked transformation and I was receptive to talk of moving but, now that I am here, I realize that it is not going to work until I embrace it. This is where I am now with my move, with my work, with my life. I can talk about how great innovations in my line of work are; I can marvel at how awesome some of the tools that are available to us are; I can wax lyrical about the incredible people who cross my path and make me better at what I do, but all of that is not worth much unless I dive in there, snuggle in and just embrace it all.

Persevere: When I started training to run long distance, I learnt about the power of a mantra. The mantra was invaluable to me, when doing hill repeats. I would chug up a hill and repeat, over and over again, “I love hills.” I will say this, I reached the top of that hill and many others AND I hate hills less and appreciate their value. I actually surprised myself when I told a cousin that I wished there were a few more hills around my new home. In 2015, I embarked on a new journey of sorts. I started my own business and decided that I wanted to do work that made me look forward to getting out of bed every day. I loved that my husband’s work, as a photographer, was something he also did for fun. I admired how excited he got about his projects and I wanted some of that. At times I would talk to some people about what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it and they would tell me, “that will never work.” Fortunately, my incredible community (2016 word, hello!) took over and repeated the mantra I had not yet learnt to say myself. However, as the year came to an end, I started to believe. So this year, I shall remember to say to myself, “You got this. You can do this,” not just when I am running, or doing pull-ups. I shall tell myself this as I am serving my clients, community and the public.

Monchu: My last word is a word that I have borrowed from Chris Brogan. Chris tells us Monchu is an Okinawan word that means “one family”. It essentially means that we treat people who are not our blood as though they are family. I have benefited from this concept forever. As someone who lives very far away from most of my blood, I just don’t know where I would be with my one family. For instance, I just wrote about how I was able to crash on a friend’s couch when I first moved to New York. I didn’t mention that I had only known her for months and she offered her home to me, and her husband and adorable daughter didn’t seem to mind either. That is just one of a million of my stories. I know that I could do a way better job of keeping in touch with people to let them know that they are part of my one family. I know that this philosophy will guide me to be better at what I do and how I do it. I hope to also inspire others around me to embrace this philosophy.

As I share my words for 2017, I want to acknowledge my words from previous years:

2013 – Change, Discover & Motivate
2014 – Transform, Pursue & Collaborate
2015 – Receptive, Synergy & Service
2016 – Learn, Fear & Community

And now for 2017 – Embrace, Persevere & Monchu. I am excited for the year ahead and I know that the view from my new home will help me do so. You see it up above, I can see forever now. I got this.

Tell me, what are your words?

I hope 2017 is your best year ever!

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2015! Three Years, Three Words…

James Petrozzello
James Petrozzello

Three years ago, I was inspired by Tom Hood, by way of Chris Brogan. As someone who gave up on New Year’s resolutions years ago, partly because I was not very good at keeping them, partly because I would change my mind about them and partly because I would often lose track of where I had written them down, I found power in the concept of Three Words. I embraced the magic and power of three during my lessons in Latin and in rhetoric. I have found my three words a great theme song that plays in my head throughout the year. They pop up in conversations, in my planning and often at unexpected, random moments. And this year, the magical and powerful three are Receptive, Synergy, and Service.

Receptive: This year, for Christmas, I gave my husband a Bluetooth headset. Ever since I came across my first Bluetooth headset, I have hated those things. People walk around with those things constantly plugged in an ear and it always seems to me that they are only giving you a small piece of their attention and are, essentially, waiting for something more interesting and important to beep in their ear. I have often felt as though people wear the headsets to make themselves feel important and busy. Around Christmas, when my husband mentioned that he wanted one, I started thinking about the Bluetooth headset in a different way. He spends a lot of time travelling and alone in an office. It makes sense that, should he wish to answer the phone, it would make sense to be able to do this and still be able to use both his hands. He has promised to put it in his ear only when he needs it and to not wear it when we are together. Beyond me and my relationship with the Bluetooth headset, I am realizing more and more, how essential it is to success and happiness to be receptive to new (and old) concepts and ideas. At work and as a part of the various boards and committees that I serve on, I have discovered how essential it is to listen to the opinions of others and process them before concluding how I feel about a situation or idea. At times, the ideas of others are better than anything that I had considered; other times, after taking their opinions into consideration, we can come up with a great plan or compromise. In order to continue the spirit of my words from last year, Transform, Pursue and Collaborate, being receptive is key.

Synergy: Last year, one of my words was collaborate. There is the saying, no man is an island, and I have found it to be true. I have lived and learnt in many places and my world and experiences have been touched by an incredible spectrum of people. All this has contributed to who and what I am today. Collaboration is so very much of getting things done but, this year, I want to hone in on synergy. I want to really think about the wonderful notion of how one plus one can equal more than two (sometimes significantly so). So collaboration will not be solely for the purpose of doing things together; to do this without thinking about how to best leverage the power of collaboration can be wasteful, frustrating and diminish the contributions of each party. I want to be mindful of the concept of synergy and ask myself, often, how can we do this so that what we achieve together is greater than what we could achieve acting alone.

Service: I have talked before about the CPA’s obligation to “serve the public trust, honor the public interest, and demonstrate a commitment to professionalism.” As a forensic CPA, this is a very important aspect of our profession. Often there are pressures upon us and, it is at times like this, that it is necessary to act with integrity, in order to honor our obligation to the public and to our profession. As a member of various committees of my State Society of CPAs and the American Institute of CPAs, and as I prepare to take over the presidency of our chapter, I, along with my fellow members must always keep in mind that our goal is to serve the public, our members and our profession with the work that we do.

A couple of years ago, my husband, James, and I traveled to Berlin for a wedding. I had often told him how much I love karaoke and so, when we heard about Bearpit Karaoke, we had to find it. The place was packed and the singers were excellent. My husband encouraged me to put my name down to sing. After hearing the caliber of singers, and after seeing how many people were in attendance (a dauntingly large crowd), I hesitated and tried to make excuses. He finally convinced me and I put my name on a long list. I was told that I probably would not get a chance to sing as many people were ahead of me and they were shutting down soon. I was pretty okay with that – it was enough for me to have been part of the crowd and to almost get a chance to sing. At six o’clock, the time the karaoke was to end, we were just walking away when I heard my name being called. I was nervous and James whipped out his camera. As I got onto the stage and introduced myself and the song I had chosen, Fame, an old man in the crowd caught my eye and gave me a thumbs up. As I sang, the crowd joined in for the chorus and a little kid ambled onto the stage. When I had moments of panic, I looked at him and took courage from his cute face, gazing up at me. Because I chose to be receptive to the idea of singing in front of this crowd, I found that I added a joy to our day that was magnified by our coming together in happiness. And, of course, what a gift and public service this Bearpit Karaoke is. If you are in Berlin, go and get yourself some joy.

The spirit of my words
From 2013: Change, Discover and Motivate
From 2014: Transform, Pursue and Collaborate
carry on and to that spirit I add my three for 2015
Receptive, Synergy and Service.

What are your three words will bring you magic and power this year?